“I’ve told them exactly what to do, but they don’t seem to take me seriously.”

Sound familiar?

Whether you’re a manager, coach, parent, or educator, this frustration often arises:

🔹 You explain step by step what needs to be done. They nod in agreement, but after the first time, they stop—or worse, they never even start
🔹 You’ve explained it a hundred times, but it feels like your words don’t really sink in
🔹 In the classroom:
    👉 You: Doing everything you can to explain clearly
    👉 They: Seem to not pay attention—or even act out

Why does this happen, even when you’re crystal clear about what needs to be done?

The answer lies in Simon Sinek’s Golden Circle and how the brain processes information.

We tend to focus on the what. We explain what needs to happen, step by step. This part of your message connects to the neocortex, the part of the brain responsible for logic, language, and analytical thinking. This is where people understand what you’re saying.

But understanding isn’t enough.

The how and why engage the limbic brain, the part of the brain that governs emotions, behavior, and decision-making. And this is where we often fail to connect. The limbic brain doesn’t process language—it responds to connection, trust, and purpose. This is why your message sometimes doesn’t stick: you’re missing the why and how.

This is also where the situation originates in which someone nods in agreement as you explain, but doesn’t follow through the next day.

Here’s the catch: It’s not about your why. It’s about their why.

When you only explain what needs to be done, you miss the chance to show why it matters—to them. And when you’re not aligned on the why, here’s what happens:

👉 They don’t see why it matters, so they disengage
👉 Resistance builds, even if they can’t articulate why
👉 Your instructions feel like “just words” rather than something meaningful

When you help them connect emotionally to the purpose, everything changes:

👉 They understand why it matters to them
👉 Resistance disappears because their brain feels safe and aligned
👉 Engagement and commitment naturally follow

Simon Sinek’s Golden Circle isn’t just a theory—it’s the bridge between logic and emotion. Start with Why, but make sure it’s their Why. When your co-workers or learners are aligned on the WHY and HOW, they not only engage more deeply—they often figure out the WHAT on their own!!

This alignment fosters trust and clarity, enabling you to delegate with confidence and genuinely rely on your team.

So, the next time you think you’ve explained exactly what needs to be done, take a moment to bring the Why and How into the conversation.