The question Isn’t how we engage students, but how they engage us

I get the same question all around the world: 

How can I engage my students? 

But here’s the thing—they’re asking the wrong question. The real question should be: 

How do we get engagement up?

And the answer? It starts with flipping the script.

💡 It’s not about how we pull them into our lessons; it’s about how we step into theirs. 

What if engagement isn’t about us directing, but about students guiding? What if it’s less about what we think they need and more about what they know they need?

True connection begins with curiosity. Growth only happens when we start from where students are—not from where we think they should be. When we skip that step, we risk building on unstable ground, leaving students feeling disconnected and unheard.

Think about the world they’re growing up in: constant notifications, rapid cultural shifts, endless distractions. It’s nothing like the one we knew. They don’t have time for TV like we did; their world is faster, louder, and way more fragmented. 

→ Yet how often do we pause to ask them: What do you need? What excites you? What scares you?

→ And if they don't immediately have an answer, how much time and effort do we put in to really dig deeper?

 If we did, we’d likely be the only ones listening. And that could change everything.

To truly connect, we have to meet them where they are. It starts by listening—not to fix or lecture—but to understand. I’ve done it. We asked all our students a simple but powerful question: 

What do you want to create, do, or learn? 

Together with the student, we embarked on this discovery process, allowing their interests and ideas to shape the path forward.

And we went from there. We created an environment where they felt safe to take risks, fail, and grow. This isn’t about making things easier for them. It’s about building a space where depth—the kind of real learning that sticks—can happen because they feel seen and supported.

Our role as educators, mentors, and adults isn’t to dictate the path but to light it. 

We’re here to guide—not to take over their journey.

Connection takes time, patience, and humility. But when we prioritize it, the payoff is profound. Young people don’t just learn—they thrive.

It’s time we stop asking how we can bring students to our lessons and start asking how we can meet them at theirs.

When was the last time you truly listened to a young person—not to respond, fix, or lecture but to understand?